HOT PATTIE AND CHOCOLATE MILK
Two seemingly innocuous foods that do not go together at all. There is nothing even remotely appealing about this food combination. Savory, delectable, flaky hot patty with cold chocolate dairy? But Hot Pattie and chocolate milk has been branded into my memory. The insignia of it illuminates one of my fondest memories and perhaps greatest life lesson.
I don't know how much you know about "island living" but it is sweet. It is pure unadulterated pleasure at its finest. Being born in the Bahamas, was one of the greatest blessings that God has granted me. The privilege of being reared in this idyllic insulated world is something that most of us take for granted. Every weekend my family and I would pile onto my Father's truck. It was one of my proudest moments when I became "old enough" to sit on the bed of the truck with my siblings and cousins. We would all go to the beach, coco plumming, looking for sea grapes, something. Whatever it was it involved the outdoors, family and food. LOL because Bahamians love good food.
On this particular Saturday, my father took my brother, my sister, and myself to Fort Charlotte. It was one of the vestiges from our Colonial era that is now an open green space where national events are held, but it is mostly where parents take their children to run, play and be free. On route to the Fort, we stopped at Original Patties, the best Hot Pattie store on the Island. We were each allowed to choose anything that we wanted, an extra special treat. We each got a Hot Pattie and a drink. My sister however selected chocolate milk. CHOCOLATE MILK... yuck! Who eats Hot Pattie with chocolate milk my brother and I teased! All the way to the Fort, we laughed at her choice, Hot Pattie and chocolate milk. Yuck!
My sister, totally "unbothered" by our thoughts on her meal selection enjoyed the ride in silence. She took in the beauty of the natural surroundings completely ignoring our jeering. When we arrived at the Fort, I could barely wait for the truck to stop. I jumped off and disappeared. I was probably around nine my sister around fourteen. I was gone, running wild and free. Exploring and looking for an adventure. My sister, being the quintessential young lady, gracefully exited the truck, staying close to my father. The two of them spent the afternoon together.
This perfectly described the essence of my sister and me. My sister was the perfect child. She was the child that "never gave my parents any problems". She was well behaved, mannerly. She acted and dressed like a "lady". She was prim and proper and followed all of the societal rules. One day I will write about my hatred of "slips” and other lady-like accoutrements I was forced to wear. Lol, but I digress.
My sister got good grades, was the model student, my parents were never called to the Principal's office for her, ahem, unlike someone else we all know. She is the pinnacle of stability. She did "what all parents want". She graduated High School, went to College, completed her bachelor’s degree in Accounting, completed her MBA. Passed her CPA license and like my mother became a Chartered Accountant. She got married, had three children and is the most amazing wife and mother. My sister made us all proud.
She is brilliant, a whiz with numbers. She definitely got the math gene lol. But more importantly, she kind, gentle, and reliable. She is the person who will always go out of her way to help anyone, sometimes to her own detriment. She is selfless, always encouraging and pushing others around her to succeed. She is one hundred percent authentically herself and is happy with the life she has created.
She followed her own path and did it in silence and grace. She is unapologetically herself. She is not the ardent adventurer like her little sister, traversing the world with unabashed abandonment. My path was different from hers and she showed me that this was perfectly acceptable. She did not care that we were "different" that we each had a unique worldview and wanted different things from life.
She taught me that it was OK to eat Hot Patties with chocolate milk even if no one else had ever done it before. Even though Hot Pattie and chocolate milk was not the choice that the masses would make; it is OK to go against the grain. She taught me that I could create any combination of life that I wanted, even though the flavors looked like they would not mesh, to never be afraid to create something different. To try something new, because it might just turn out to be the best meal ever.
She taught me that life is like a Saturday in the Bahamas. We are all unique individuals traveling on the "truck" to a destination in life. On the way to our own particular Fort, we will make choices. What we selected might not be the choice of others. When we arrive at our Fort, at our destination, the path we take is individualistic. One can run free and roam, while the other stays close to home. We must follow the path that we chose because that is what leads to our satiation.
To my sister it was just a Hot Pattie and some chocolate milk, but to me, it was a buffet in self-acceptance, self-love, and bravery. My sister was my very own Ralph Emerson, she taught me to “ not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail”. She taught me to be a trailblazer; to accept and love who I am, despite what anyone else may think. Common is cheap, but peculiar is priceless. I am eating my own Hot Pattie and chocolate milk and living life limitlessly.