I BLAME FEDEX!

Yesterday morning, I had a plan. I had a meeting in the morning, then running some routine errands. I was all set. On my way to the meeting, I got a call from Federal Express, the delivery person was on my Street trying to locate my House. That was my first irritant; why didn't you call the night before and schedule a delivery time. Urggh!!! The package he had was something I was waiting on for about 2 weeks. I cut my meeting short, abandoned my plans, and drove back to my home. From there, my day just derailed.

It wasn't until later in the afternoon that I was able to resume my to-do list, but because I was short on time, rather than go to my regular grocery store, I decided to go to the corner convenience store. Walking back from returning the trolley, I tripped on some invisible thing and fell. Folks this was not a cute dainty trip; it was an all-out in a slow-motion roll, ending into a complete belly bust and face plant; all on concrete pavers I might add. Bag flung one way, glasses the other, dress askew, mask somewhere in the abyss. I was covered in red dust.

In the full second that I laid there, I silently cursed FedEx. This was Fedex's fault that I was in my current situation. If the driver had not called me this morning, I would have gone to my regular grocery store and taken my time to luxuriate shop and continue on with my other errands.

Hurt, but more embarrassed, I quickly picked myself up, gathered all of my belongings, and rushed past the audience of people, mainly men, who all sat and watched me fall, and did not even stop their card game to offer to assist me; but I digress. I brushed the dust off myself and rushed hurriedly to my car.

Sometimes life is a FedEx man. Sometimes you could have the best-laid plans. XYZ; School, College, my own business, marriage, and children. Then something unexpected happens and that one seemingly insignificant thing derails everything. It throws you off course and sets a plan in motion that makes it seem impossible to get back "on course". What do you do when that happens? What do you do when you feel everything that you desired is out of reach? What do you do when you feel that you can never recover? What do you do when you become hopeless?

You do what I did, you don't fight it, you stop and allow yourself to fall. When you hit the ground, you stop and assess the damage. You take a moment. You cry for the pain you feel; the physical, emotional, spiritual, and financial pain. Grieve the loss of the opportunity, for the time that you think was stolen from you; for the plan that was derailed. Mourn for all of those people who you thought would be there for you but sat still and watched you fall. Then you get angry; angry for the circumstance you are in. Get angry for the who, the what, the where.

It's your "moment" You take that moment, for as long as that moment needs to be to. Then you release it. You release the pain, you release the opportunity, you release, release the time, you release the disappointment from those who sat silently still. Then you acknowledge the position that you are in and forgive yourself.

You cannot change what do not first acknowledge. Forgive yourself for where you are, no it might not be your fault, no it might be outside forces that lead to this point, but you can't carry that burden. You forgive the FedEx man, you forgive life. It wasn't his intention to cause you this pain, he was only doing his job and his job unintentionally led you to where you are now. Sometimes that is the flow of life. You also forgive the audience, the men who sat and watched you fall, the family who watched you struggle, the friends you thought would be in your corner, the lovers who abandoned you in your time of need, the colleagues who were entertained by your fall. Forgive them all. The only way to release, it is to forgive. Forgive yourself for the dreams that never manifested, the goals that went unfulfilled, the plans that never came to fruition. FORGIVE YOURSELF. Say it out loud to yourself, I am sorry, I forgive you, I love you.

Then you pick yourself up, hold your head high, gather all of your belongings, brush yourself off and metaphorically walk past every family, friend, lover, coworker who sat by and watched you fall and never stopped their life or inconvenience themselves to give you a hand. Yes, every person who you were there for, who you helped, carried their burdens, but in your time of need, disappeared. But you learned the lesson, that no one is obligated to help you, and learning to do things on your own and be independent is your very own superpower. You power up in your own strength, get up and you walk because if they weren't there, you did not need them. You just did not realize it at the time. You thought that they were your support, but they were actually your crutch.

Look at you, you are here, you are alive, you still have every ability, capability, and drive to make those dreams happen, to fulfill those goals, and make your desires reality. You can do it and you will do it, without them! You got this Queen; you got this King. Straighten out your crown, put on your royal robes, and march into your kingdom, whatever that may be, and dominate. This is your time; this is your season and TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!!

Time to reroute your life, to remap your course, to revise the plan. There is a purpose in everything that has happened in your life. Right now, today while you are on the ground, fresh from the fall you might not be able to see it. But tomorrow or later on your journey you might suddenly understand that your fall, your pain, your embarrassment was not about you. It was a lesson that FedEx delivered to you. A lesson that you would carry for someone else that you would meet along your journey. A future friend, partner, colleague, or even someone reading a blog post you wrote years from now.